Current:Home > News'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice -Elite Financial Minds
'Chronically single' TikTokers go viral for sharing horrible dating advice
View
Date:2025-04-17 01:47:54
Are you in a relationship and giving unsolicited dating advice? Your "chronically single" friends may like a word.
Single people are going viral on TikTok for sharing the most unhelpful dating tips they've gotten from well-meaning friends in relationships. In one of the videos, with 4.6 million views, a woman shares some of the most frustrating clichés she hears as a self-described "chronically single 25-year-old."
At the top of her − and many others' − lists: "It'll happen when you least expect it."
"Will it?" she asks. "Quite some time actually I have not expected it, and it still hasn't happened." Another contender? Stop looking, and that's when you'll find it. "I haven't been looking, and it's the not looking, I fear, that has resulted in years of absolutely no contact with a man," she adds.
Her video has inspired a slew of other TikTokers to share the unhelpful advice they've heard − and dating experts say the trend speaks to frustrations single people feel not only with modern dating but also with people in relationships giving unwanted or out-of-touch feedback.
"Dating is harder than ever before," says Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart." "These platitudes are really condescending and minimize people's emotional experiences, and I think people are fed up."
More:People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up.
What 'chronically single' people are tired of hearing
The "chronically single" trend has been a way for singles to come together and commiserate over the worst dating advice they've received. Experts say it highlights how common some of these seemingly harmless platitudes have become − even if they're actually damaging to finding a relationship.
One of these oft-repeated platitudes, Chan says, is that a relationship will happen when you least expect it. She says this one is especially irresponsible, because it encourages singles not to put effort into meeting likeminded people, which is the best avenue for finding a relationship.
"These attitudes, they can spread and they can really stick in people's heads, because they're so catchy," Chan says. "And then people start believing them as truth."
Some of the platitudes are also insulting. One of these, Chan says, is that you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, which another chronically single TikToker says he's tired of hearing in a video viewed 2.3 million times.
Get the latest internet buzz to your inbox with USA TODAY's Everyone's Talking newsletter.
It's true self-love is critical − but telling this to a single person implies they're single because they don't love themselves, which is not necessarily true.
"This journey of healing, it's not like you have to complete it before you're finally ready to meet someone," Chan says, adding it's not a journey that stops once you do get into a relationship either. "A lot of your growing can come in relation with someone else."
More:Chaotic Singles Parties are going viral on TikTok. So I went to one.
How to give real dating advice to your single friends
Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men, says the complaints on TikTok show that we need to have empathy for those who want to find love but are struggling to do so.
However, she also says some of the chronically single TikTokers may be holding themselves back in ways they don't realize. For instance, many of them bemoan getting told to "put yourself out there," noting that they do go out to bars and are on dating apps.
While it's true they may be putting themselves out there in these ways, Anderson says the TikTokers may not be doing so in the best way. Instead of going to bars and clubs, she recommends meeting other singles through shared activities and interests.
Also, evaluate "how many new people you're meeting on a daily or weekly basis," Anderson says. "Technology and these social apps can lead people to thinking that they're meeting a lot of people and they're talking to a lot of people, but, if they actually write down every time they talk to a new person, the number is usually pretty low in real life."
Dating rules to avoid:Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
If you know someone who's chronically single, often just listening and showing empathy are all they want from you. Only give advice, Anderson says, if they ask for it.
Also, don't assume singleness as necessarily a problem that needs to be solved.
"There's nothing inherently wrong with being single," Anderson says. "Approaching somebody and then giving them advice on how they can correct that problem, you're making a lot of assumptions."
Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'?It might be why you're still single.
And, if you're someone who's chronically single and does want a relationship, "Keep knowing that your path is unique," Chan says. "Maybe you'll spend your 20s in a relationship, and then maybe your later years not. Maybe it's going to be the other way around. There is no one right way."
veryGood! (4873)
Related
- Whoopi Goldberg is delightfully vile as Miss Hannigan in ‘Annie’ stage return
- 'The Bachelor' Contestant Daisy Kent Has Ménière's disease: What should you know about the condition
- EU envoy urges Kosovo and Serbia to step up normalization efforts before the bloc’s June elections
- Essentials to Keep You Warm When You’re Freezing Your Butt off Outside
- Louvre will undergo expansion and restoration project, Macron says
- Parents share heartwarming stories of how Taylor Swift has inspired girls to watch the NFL
- Colorado police chief on leave pending criminal case after reported rapes during party at his house
- Man convicted in Door County bar fire that killed two people
- Have Dry, Sensitive Skin? You Need To Add These Gentle Skincare Products to Your Routine
- Purdue, Connecticut lead top seeds in NCAA men's tournament Bracketology
Ranking
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, Triathlon
- Issa Rae talks 'American Fiction' reflecting Hollywood, taking steps to be 'independent'
- New Hampshire lawmakers consider multiple bills targeting transgender students and athletes
- The UAE ambassador takes post in Damascus after nearly 13 years of cut ties
- The city of Chicago is ordered to pay nearly $80M for a police chase that killed a 10
- Former priest among victims of Palm Bay, Florida shooting that left 3 killed, suspected shooter dead
- Bob Odenkirk learns he's related to King Charles III after calling monarchy 'twisted'
- Bill to make proving ownership of Georgia marshland less burdensome advanced by state House panel
Recommendation
'Kraven the Hunter' spoilers! Let's dig into that twisty ending, supervillain reveal
20-year-old sacrifices future for hate, gets 18 years for firebombing Ohio church over drag shows
Wisconsin Republicans are asking a liberal justice not to hear a redistricting case
Bob Odenkirk learns he's related to King Charles III after calling monarchy 'twisted'
The Super Bowl could end in a 'three
Oklahoma asks teachers to return up to $50,000 in bonuses the state says were paid in error
Bill targeting college IDs clears Kentucky Senate in effort to revise voter identification law
Tickets to Super Bowl 2024 are the most expensive ever, Seat Geek says